I Wrote This Instead of Screaming

You left me a ring made of soot and smoke,
A promise half-burned, a joke I never broke. 
Taught me "fire keeps you warm, if you just stop the tears."
I mastered the poker face; I practiced for years. 
You stitched your survival right under my skin,
A lineage of flint where love should've been.
Said, "Pain is a currency, mercy's a debt.
The kind get erased, and the cruel just get set."

I tried to build something gentler,
A house made of glass. 
But the sparks found the framework,
And my God, it burned fast. 
Everything kind I touched
Just turned into a pyre. 

You called it protection - I call it a curse. 
This ember you left me just aches and gets worse.
I wear it like diamonds; I polish the pain. 
Inheritance of the burn, still screaming your name. 

I light all the candles you said were a waste.
Dress up memories I can't quite erase. 
Your voice is an echo lodged deep in my throat,
Half-gospel, half-warning, on a ten dollar note. 
You said, "Don't love softly, the world bites back."
So I sharpened my edges for the counterattack. 
Every trophy I've polished, every bridge that I've burned,
It all smells like kerosene, the lesson I learned. 

And I swore I'd be different,
That I'd wash out the stain. 
But the mirror just smirks,
Whispers, "Look at this reign."
Your fire's in my blood.
It's the reason I survive. 

You called it protection - I call it a curse. 
This ember you left me just aches and gets worse.
I wear it like diamonds; I polish the pain.
Inheritance of the burn, still screaming your name.

I used to wish for water,
I used to pray for rain,
To drown out the monster,
To make me "kind" again.
But you know what they say
About girls with the matches - 
They don't just get burned,
They learn where the gas is. 

So I'm done with the wishing,
I'm done with the urn.
This isn't an altar,
This is my return.
It's not my inheritance,
It's the power I've earned.
You gave me the spark,
But I am the burn.

It's in my breath,
It's in my blood.
It's not a choice,
It is a flood.
You taught me to light it,
Now watch
it
all
burn.